An Open Letter to the Family Dog
May 30, 2007 at 10:21 am | In Uncategorized | 1 CommentDear Fluffy the ‘Family’ Dog:
I’m writing you this letter in hopes that we might work through the stalemate which has arisen from our recent problems.
For the better part of the week, you have completely ignored me. While you’ve always been stand-off-ish towards me, it’s as if you’ve now cut me off completely. I know that you know that I’m here, because you tipped your hand when you ran over to the food bowl seconds after I put it on the ground. Otherwise, I’ve become persona non grata.That means ‘unwelcome person’ in Latin. Chances are, you don’t speak/read any foreign languages. But, I wouldn’t know whether that’s true or not since you refuse to let me get closer to you.
Solving the World’s Problems
May 9, 2007 at 11:46 pm | In manifesto | 1 Comment“Men make history, and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better.” — Harry Truman
Harry would know, wouldn’t he? After all, he dropped the big one.
Twice.
(Yes, ‘Fletch’ was on TV today)
In a bid to do my part for this world, to try and emulate the deeds of exceptional heroes from days long past, in order to build society back up after years of tearing it down (i.e. talking shit about it), I’ve embarked on a quest to redeem myself by undertaking a task of herculean proportions.
I’m going to solve the world’s problems.
How I Like My Women Just Like My Coffee…
May 5, 2007 at 12:37 am | In manifesto | 2 Comments- dark and bitter
- easy to stomach first thing in the morning
- hot and foreign
- artificially ’sweetened’
- Irish
- cold and unpleasant
- expensive but unfulfilling
- black and strong
- straight from the hippie commune
- cheap and bland
- bowel-movement inducing good
- rich and exotic
- found at the gas station down the street at 1am
- too refined for my simple palate
- preferably not used to smuggle drugs into the country
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